WHEN YOU ARE TOO DEPRESSED TO THINK STRAIGHT.
Depression hurts
Depression is a painful sensation or ache that goes beyond mood. It affects energy, appetite, sleep, concentration, memory, and ability to make decisions. When mild, it leaves you unfulfilled and struggling. When severe, it invades self-image and understanding of the world, causing life to fester into something so black it can be intolerable.
We all do it when depressed: unhealthy stuff. We stay in bed all day or don’t answer the phone when friends call. Some people do drugs. Others drink too much. Still, others keep themselves so busy they don't have time to breathe. What’s the problem here? Unhealthy activities might help at the moment, but they make the depression worse in the long run.
It seems you have a dozen problems when feeling depressed. Each one is a crisis, and you feel a need to solve the crisis right away. Your thoughts spin left and right, up and down, reaching for answers, hoping for some resolution, but nothing. The more you think, the worse it gets. Sound familiar?
What do you do when you’re too depressed to think? Rather than working on thoughts, you work on behaviors. You act differently.
Acting differently involves four steps:
Stop thinking
Do positive stuff
Don’t do negative stuff
Jumpstart action with a routine
Breathe
Put problem thoughts on hold and put aside these thoughts until you're ready to come back to them. You’re more than under the weather. You’re miserable. The running dialogue in your head is more toxic than helpful. Create a “worry list.” Each time that alarm in the brain goes off, giving you something new to fret about, add the stressor to the list and promise yourself you’ll come back to it when you’re ready. If the problem needs more attention, try journaling it out of your system before letting go. Unless the thought is an emergency, you don’t have to deal with it right away. Distract yourself even if you don’t feel like it, do something. Often the thoughts subside if you focus on something different for a while. Options might be watching TV, calling a friend, cuddling with a pet, drinking a cup of tea, listening to an upbeat song, or coming up with a list of things you’re thankful for. What other distractions can you think of? When you find distractions that work for you, use them often. Start a Daily routine. You have a list of fun and achievement activities. You also have a bunch of things to avoid – and hopefully, ideas to replace them.
Make sure to keep a daily schedule for a week, recording which activities helped and which didn’t. Once you’ve got this information, use it to your advantage. Find something helpful? Do more of it! Find something harmful? Do less of it! (And replace with something better!) As the depression lightens, you'll start to feel joy again, and your thoughts will become more organized.
If your depression is so bad you've stopped living your life, please reach out for professional help. Depression is treatable. It's just a matter of not giving up
Nancy Phillips, Certified Life Coach, and Counselor
