The Fine Line Between Praying for and Idolizing Our Husbands
As Christian wives, we are encouraged to pray for our husbands and submit to their leadership. However, there's a subtle yet crucial distinction between praying for and idolizing our husbands. When we idolize our husbands, we risk losing sight of God's sovereignty and our identity in Him.
Idolizing Our Husbands: A Subtle Danger
Idolizing our husbands means placing them at the center of our universe, relying solely on them for happiness, validation, and purpose.
Examples:
- Constantly seeking their approval and validation
- Making them the ultimate authority in our lives, above God's Word
- Relying solely on them for emotional support and comfort
- Neglecting our relationship with God and spiritual growth
Examples of Idolizing Our Husbands:
- Constantly needing their input on every decision
- Feeling lost or incomplete without them
- Prioritizing their happiness above our spiritual well-being
What God Says About Idolatry
Scripture warns against idolatry in various forms, including:
You shall have no other gods before Me (Exodus 20:3)
Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2)
The Dangers of Idolizing Our Husbands Idolizing our husbands can lead to:
- Spiritual stagnation and neglect of our relationship with God
- Unhealthy dependence and loss of personal identity
- Distorted view of marriage and roles within it
- Potential for emotional or spiritual abuse
True Surrender and Submission True surrender and submission involves:
- Recognizing God's sovereignty and authority above our husbands'
- Trusting God's plan and provision for our lives
- Submitting to our husbands as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22)
- Maintaining our spiritual growth and relationship with God
There is a delicate balance between honoring our earthly relationships and maintaining God's rightful place at the center of our lives. The Bible does indeed instruct wives to respect and submit to their husbands, as seen in Ephesians 5:22, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." However, this submission, as you rightly noted, is framed within the larger context of mutual submission to God and to one another in reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).
The heart of the matter lies in understanding the nature of idolatry. Idolatry extends beyond the worship of graven images; it encompasses anything that takes the place of God in our hearts. Jesus reminds us of the first and greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37-38, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment." When we allow our affection, reliance, or reverence for our husbands to overshadow our love and dependence on God, we inadvertently cross the boundary into idolatry.
The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34, elucidates the importance of undivided devotion to the Lord. While he acknowledges the natural concerns and divided interests that come with marriage, he encourages believers to strive for a heart that is foremost concerned with pleasing the Lord. This principle is crucial in navigating the dynamics of marriage without falling into the trap of idolizing our spouses.
The key to maintaining this balance is found in Colossians 3:1-2, "If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth." By fixing our eyes on Jesus and seeking first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33), we ground our relationships in the firm foundation of God's love and sovereignty. This perspective enables us to love our husbands deeply and genuinely, not as idols, but as gifts from God, to be cherished, respected and loved in a way that reflects our ultimate love and submission to God.
1 Peter 3:1-2 offers wisdom to wives, encouraging conduct that wins over husbands not through words but through the purity and reverence of their lives. This not only underscores the influence of a godly life but also the importance of maintaining one's own spiritual health and relationship with God.
In conclusion, the call to love, respect, and pray for our husbands is a vital one, yet it must always be nested within our primary allegiance to God. By cultivating a deep and abiding relationship with Him, we ensure that our love for our husbands enriches and reflects our love for Christ, rather than competing with it. Let us then, with God's grace, strive to honor Him in all our relationships, keeping Him as the cornerstone of our lives and marriages.
Let's be careful not to cross the line from praying for our husbands to idolizing them. Instead, let's keep our eyes fixed on God, trusting Him above all else.
Contact Nancy for help with restoration and in your marriage with a Biblical perspective or schedule a free consultation.
nancyp@lifehackswithnancy.org
