From Control to Surrender: A Step-by-Step Guide to True Surrender to God

“Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.” —Psalm 37:5 (KJV)

Understanding True Surrender

In the journey of faith, many of us hear the word "surrender" often, but what does it truly mean? For women navigating the complexities of marriage, parenting, and

personal growth, surrendering to God can feel like a vague or abstract concept. It’s easy to say, “Give it to God,” but the practical steps of how to surrender—especially

when it comes to deeply personal struggles like broken marriages or adult children—are less often explained. I know this personally because there was a time when I

didn’t understand surrender either.

I thought I was surrendering by praying for my husband, but I was still trying to control the outcome. True surrender involved not just praying for him but surrendering

myself and my will to God. It required me to develop a deep, personal relationship with Christ—a relationship that transformed my spirit before I saw any change in my

husband.

In this blog, I’ll break down what surrender means, what it looks like step-by-step, and how to apply it in your life. We’ll explore key scriptures, share practical prayers,

and include an illustrative story. I’ll also recommend watching The War Room with Priscilla Shirer, which is a powerful example of surrender in action.

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What is Surrender? Defining It Spiritually and Practically

-Dictionary Definition: The word "surrender" means to cease resistance and submit to the authority of another. It implies letting go of control, giving up, and yielding to

a higher power.

-Biblical Definition: In a spiritual sense, surrender means fully yielding our will, desires, and plans to God. It’s an act of trust, acknowledging that His ways are higher

than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). True surrender is not a one-time event but a daily choice to let God lead.

Key Scripture: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

—Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)

Why Surrender Matters: The Heart of the Issue

When we try to control our circumstances—whether it’s fixing our marriage, changing our husband, or protecting our adult children—we’re essentially saying we trust

ourselves more than we trust God. This mindset strains our relationships and stands in the way of God’s work.

There was a time when I was praying fervently for my husband’s transformation, yet nothing changed. It wasn’t until I realized that I needed to surrender myself to God

that I saw a shift. I had to step out of God’s way, let go of my need for control, and allow Him to work in both my and my husband’s hearts. Once I did that, my own spirit

changed first, and then I began to see changes in my husband.

Step-by-Step Guide to Surrendering to God:

1. Acknowledge Your Need for Surrender

The first step is recognizing that you cannot do it on your own. Admit that your strength, plans, and efforts have limitations.

“I can do all things through Christ, which strengthened me.”

—Philippians 4:13 (KJV)

“Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that I cannot fix this situation on my own. I need You. I surrender my will, my plans, and my fears to You. Take control, Lord, and lead me according to Your perfect will. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

2. Release Control and Trust God’s Plan

Surrender involves letting go of the outcome. Trust that God’s plan is better than anything you could orchestrate.

“Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.” —Proverbs 16:3 (KJV)

When you find yourself worrying or trying to control the situation, pause and pray. Physically open your hands as a symbol of releasing control to God.

3. Develop a Deep, Personal Relationship with Christ

True surrender requires intimacy with God. Spend time in prayer, read the Word, and seek His presence daily.

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” —James 4:8 (KJV)

Set aside a specific time each day for prayer and Bible reading. Approach God in a posture of humility. Prostrate yourself if possible, symbolizing complete surrender.

Praying prostrate—lying face down before God—can be a powerful act of surrender. It symbolizes total submission and dependence on Him.

4. Pray Specific, Surrender-Focused Prayers

Prayer is the language of surrender. Focus on asking for change and submitting your will to God’s.

“Lord, I surrender my husband to You. I release my need to control him or change him. Work in his heart as only You can. I also surrender myself to You.

Transform me, Lord, and make me the woman You want me to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

5. Focus on Your Own Transformation

Surrendering doesn’t mean waiting passively. It means actively allowing God to change you first.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” —Psalm 51:10 (KJV)

Ask God to reveal areas in your life that need transformation. Be willing to repent and change.

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Rolanda’s Journey to Surrender

Rolanda had been praying for her husband, Mark, to change for years. Their marriage was strained, and she felt exhausted.

She neglected to train up their children and seemed to become more irritated and bitter each day with him. He was unkind, angry, and

neglected their marriage. They were barely intimate. She tried to control the situation daily—offering advice, setting ultimatums,

and even manipulating circumstances. Nothing worked. One day, Rolanda realized that while she was praying for Mark, she wasn’t

truly surrendering. She decided to stop trying to fix him and instead focused on her relationship with God. She spent time in prayer, laying prostrate

before the Lord, and released her need for control. She prayed,

“Lord, I surrender Mark to You. I trust Your plan. Change me first.”

Over time, through daily prayer and obedience, Rolanda’s spirit changed. She became more patient, loving, and peaceful. Mark noticed the difference

and began to soften. Slowly, their marriage began to heal—not because Rolanda had fixed it, but because she had surrendered.

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For a powerful example of surrender in marriage, I highly recommend watching The War Room with Priscilla Shirer. This movie beautifully illustrates how true surrender

can transform a broken relationship.

Are you ready to surrender? Remember, it’s a daily process. Pray, seek God, and let go of control. Trust that He is working in ways you cannot see.

If you need guidance or support, I’m here to help. Visit lifehackswithnancy.org to learn more about counseling and resources.

“Heavenly Father, I surrender my life, marriage, and family to You.

Teach me to trust You fully. Transform me, Lord, and let Your will be done.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.”