You vs. You
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? You, of course...but who do you really see? Do you love this person, or do you hate the image of this person that stands before you, facing you? If you were someone else standing in the same room next to yourself, what would you think of "you"? Would you judge "you"? And if you did, would it be good or bad? Observing all the flaws or gawking at this beautiful image of a person God created and is confident in themselves.
The Biblical view of self-worth is not only freeing; it is encouraging for everyone who has struggled with self-esteem. Self-esteem refers to a person's beliefs about their own worth and value. Self-worthiness means that you fully realize that you are good enough to achieve your dreams. It also means that you realize you are worthy to live a beautiful life filled with happiness, even in your relationships.
Part of accomplishing self-worthiness oneself is figuring out what you want to accomplish. This isn’t about titles, money, or fame. It’s about what gift you will leave for this world. How will your dream impact other people? Your dreams are meaningful to you. Paint a picture.
One of my favorite lessons I learned as a Mentor for Inspire to Be Mentoring for girls https://youtu.be/n_Yd4JmVxfg was the difference between self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. Many of us may confuse the concepts or interchange them without really recognizing them. We must recognize that each meaning is separate and measured differently. Self-worth is the most important concept to consider in that we each have a worth that is infinite and eternal.
Worth is never something that can change regardless of external circumstances. How, then, do we measure our worth? Worth is measured by the fact that we are children of God. Despite an endless array of sins or your best effort to hide away from your true identity, you will always continue to be a son or daughter of God with infinite potential.
How, then, do we measure esteem and confidence?
Esteem is defined as having self-respect or a feeling that you can achieve what you need or want to achieve. It is measured by your ability to complete the expectations you place upon yourself. Confidence can then be measured by the way others may view you. Confident individuals usually have a lot of money, status, or other traits that society deems admirable or accepted. Yet, one of the greatest truths I hope to remind you of is that your worth is internal. You can build upon that worth. It is possible to feel of worth, build upon your esteem, and still have confidence in the sight of others.
Adding meaning to your life by taking part in activities that you feel are important is another great way to build self-worth. Helping others, for example, offers a huge boost to your sense of self-worth. Generosity is good for you, both physically and mentally, and studies now show that volunteering has a very positive effect on how people feel about themselves. Other studies have found that religion correlates with a higher sense of self-worth in adolescents. People find meaning in many different ways; think about the activities and interests that feel meaningful to you personally and pursue those activities to build a more positive feeling of self-worth.
Acting on principles in ways you respect is another important quality to nourish as you develop a higher level of self-worth. When our actions do not match our words, we are more vulnerable to attacks from our critical inner voice and less likely to respect ourselves. By challenging your critical inner voice and stopping comparing yourself to others, you can begin to get a feeling for your own self-worth. By pursuing activities that are meaningful to you and acting in line with your own personal beliefs, you can develop your sense of yourself as a worthwhile person in the world even further.
If you are on a path of self-healing, journaling is a powerful tool to help you through the process. The following are some questions you can write in your journal and answer:
Self-criticism Journaling questions:
How often do I criticize myself? Every day? All day? Sometimes?
How harshly do I speak to myself? To others?
Do you criticize the people you love, your children, your mother, or your partner? How often?
Do you believe that negative self-talk is a form of self-abuse?
What are the things you criticize yourself for?
Make a list of all the things you are mad at yourself for or even “Hate” yourself for. What mistakes have you made that you find it hard to forgive yourself for?
Make a list of the things that you wish you did differently…. Regrets?
Do you criticize yourself for the same things over and over again? How many years have you been criticizing yourself for the same things?
Do you learn your life lessons easily, or do you find yourself repeating the same things with different people or circumstances over and over again? What lessons are you tired of repeating and really ready to learn and move on from?
What are 3 of the main lessons this last year held for you?
